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There's a target on my back

Updated: Jul 9


During the pandemic, I was a train wreck, like many of you. We were on lockdown, and there were many restrictions. I was bored and depressed. So, I remember writing more. There were a lot of cycling feelings that I experienced as you can read more about in my personal essay in this newly published compilation book. I wrote this unpublished poem about what occurred at the height of the pandemic. I am proud of how it ties in so much during that time. Can you relate? What parts resonate with you? As I read it, I feel disappointment to know that not much has changed in the past 5 years.


There's a target on my back,

I am black. I am brown.

I don't see,


Black man wearing baseball cap, serious stare, hands clasped over chin
B&W image of Black man wearing baseball cap, serious stare with hands clasped over chin

I don't know, 

When they point,

Where they go.


Once there, 

Far away.

Now here,

Sunny day.

I don't see.

I don't know.


Where to hide?

Where to go?


BOOM!

One down.

BOOM!

Two.

BOOM!

Three...


Watch the TV,

Surf the web.

There's a party.

Where they at?


BOOM!

BOOM!

BOOM!


Stay at home,

Social distance.

BOOM!

Social distance.

BOOM!

More social distance.


My hands tremble,

My palms sweat.

Watch the TV,

Surf the web.

Toilet paper, Xenophobia, White House wars.

Frontline workers, sacrificial lambs,

The privileged, "I'll take more."

Resources scarce,

forget the poor.


The dead bodies,

They pile high.

Black and brown reach the sky. 

Pacing back and forth,

Frustrated more and more.


Where's the sun to warm my face?

The Snickers smirk at my extra weight.

No money left.

It's time for school.

Teacher now, student soon.


Stomach grumbles. Not right now.

Children play, quiet down.

Thoughts race.

Tears well. Choke it down.

There's a target at my back.


Slowly, I sit down.

Watch the TV,

Surf the web.

The orange man talks, 

Confusion said.

Am I next?


Release a sigh. 

Another day.

I'm tired.

In my apartment,

I can't stay.


Lift my hand,

Touch my face,

The bruise, it fades away.

Another grumble,

The dog growls. 

Suck in a breath, 

Is it now?


A heavyweight on my chest,

I can't breathe. 

THUMP! THUMP!

I close my eyes.

Heartbeat racing. Baby cries.


Slowly opening my eyes, I release a sigh.

A tear slips from my eye.

I do see,

I do know.

There they are. 

 



Comments


K-Pinkney-White_edited_edited_edited_edi

Hi, thanks for stopping by!

I am a clinical mental health counselor and an educator. I have been in private practice for almost a decade. During this time, I have encountered hundreds of individuals to listen to their narratives and to help them heal in some way. Additionally, I have my own story. I hope to weave takeaways and lessons learned over the years from these interactions and from my personal life into informative and thought- provoking posts. 

Let the posts
come to you.

Thanks for submitting!

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